2012 Holiday Guide: Gifts for Your Wife

Today's gift guide focuses on the most important person in our homes--the wife.  Specifically the wife who lives in my house.  Maybe this guide could be forwarded on to someone you know?  A tall soldier, maybe?

Silhouette 
The wife may not know what she will do with this, but she KNOWS SHE NEEDS IT SO SO SO BAD.

An additional mixing bowl
If the wife in your house observes the Holy Tradition of Waffle Fridays, an additional mixing bowl for her Kitchenaid Professional HD mixer would be really handy.  You could also throw in an ice cream maker attachment.  


A Trader Joe's Gift Card and a Full Tank of Gas and No Children in the Car
Sometimes the closest TJ's is 2 hours away.  And sometimes she is out of delicious things.  And wants to hear no whining.

A Picasso or a Garfunkel

Remember that time she saw this Kershisnik for the first time and felt compelled to purchase it, but talked herself out of it because it was a few thousand dollars and that seemed superficial and didn't buy it and still thinks about it, like, ten years later?  You could save up for an original.  She would wait until the children were grown.  But in the meantime, how about a print?  (Or a postcard.  She knows y'all are broke).
And if you wanted to make her feel like you were super spiritchal you could go with a LE print from J Kirk Richards, another of her favorites:

Gift Cards 
So you put the giving off, and UPS is not going to get here in time, never fear:  She likes cash and cards.  Maybe get a sitter and go with her to an after-Christmas sale at a fancy store.  Buy her something.  But do yourself a favor and write down the plan and wrap it around a toblerone and stick it under the tree.  So it looks like it was on purpose.  Because WE know it was, but Christmas morning she sometimes forgets that you are busy 364 days of the year.  Just saying.

Hope this helps!

2012 Holiday Gift Guide: Nerds and Dudes

I like telling people what to buy other people.  I think of it as a gifty Karma, and hope that someone buys me stuff later on.  So for the next little bit? Gift guides. 

Today's gifts are for the nerds in your life.  And the dudes.  They may be different, but in my house they are the same.

Loot Crate $20/month
A grab-bag subscription service for nerds.  W has one and every month he giggles like a schoolgirl when he opens it.  And says things like "Yes!  More caffeinated gum!"  One time he got his new signature scent, Iron Man Cologne.  I wish I were making this up.

His Other Timepiece




Word on the street is that ballers wear Invicta.  I don't even know. 

 Slightly Obscure, Goofy T-Shirts
 Does your dude/nerd want random stranger dude/nerds to approach him and say "Nice shirt, dude" when he goes out in public?  Then you need to visit shirtwoot.
 Ones that get the most attention out here?  Drunk Cookie and  Bazinga,   Our Target also has some nice Arrested Development and Saved By The Bell ones.  Not just any goofy shirt will do, however; the key is the slightly obscure nature.  The wearer should project the following statement: "Yeah, I follow Wil Wheaton on Twitter, but I was following him WAY before he was on Big Bang."

Dress Shoes  He Did Not Own in College
You know what I am talking about.  Update those bad boys.

A nice French-Cuffed shirt and some slightly obscure, goofy cufflinks.

I like these ones a lot, and you can have them personalized with a name or dirty word.  (I'd go with dirty.)  If he doesn't read binary (you are so, so lucky) there are some fun ones at Think Geek, or just browse around Etsy.

But your nerd is a lady, you say?  Never fear:  I've got you covered.

A Tiara

Holy Crapballs, it's Time to Spend Money!

**Jooj has recently started saying "Holy Crapballs!"  I honestly don't know where she got it, but it sure is catching.

For the price of a cup of coffee a day, you can give these urchins a magical Christmas.

Welp, it's that time of year--the time when we pull out our Christmas Club savings from which we have dutifully stashed away at least $100 a month, so that our families can have a truly magical season of receiving. 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Yeah, we used our "Christmas Club" on car repairs/house repairs/car repairs and car repairs, too.  Our mechanic is getting a boat this year.

I'm not going to lie, 2012 is tight for almost everyone I know.  And it makes me sad, because that means almost everyone I know is not going to get me anything for Christmas.  (Also it makes me sad for their children, but not as much.) 

Last year I posted about how I save money for Christmas, and I am doing the same things this year, too--Swagbucks (at least $50 in Amazon cards so far!), paid surveys (don't laugh, almost $80 in measly $3 checks this year!), and homemade meth (I save money by cutting it with homemade laundry soap!).

How do you save money for holiday spending?  Past January?  What tips and tricks can you share?

Last year's Christmas Giving posts are  here, here, and here.

Worst Gifts Ever--OR ARE THEY?

Since today I am stuck in bed, due to the barchina and pipis hurting, I'm back to my lists of gifts for specific people. And while I love compiling things I have no money to purchase, I have also found some AMAZING things that you need to seriously consider not giving to anyone you love. Or to EVERYONE. Because that are just that amazing.

• The Forever Lazy. I swear to you this is a real thing. W saw it on TV and made me watch it. It is a fleece, hooded union suit with footies, complete with a sh*t hole. Just the thing for when you want to say "I know your bar is low, but we can make it even lower."

• An unsolicited puppy. My neighbors got one last year from a doting grandma. Guess who is now the owner of Chico the Unsolicited Puppy? Don't know, but it's not my neighbors!

• The Gift With Purchase. Unless it is a stocking stuffer for Jooj. Then all bets are off, because she is six and doesn't know what a GWP is. The rest of us know. And know the message you are sending is "I really wanted a Prada bag, but I couldn't buy for you AND for me!"

• I have no idea what this is, but it is called a Hand Sack. And is designed for you to "achieve total hand control." WIN!

• This book. Message: "You know how you are a total whore? There's an app for that!"

• Doggie Doo, the game. This is an honest-to-goodness "best seller in Germany" now for the US! To win you have to clean up poop three times.
  

You are welcome.

Ninety-Seven Degrees is Too Hot for Sewing

So, in my attempt to become domestic and, possibly, attract a sister-wife with a lot of money and cleaning skillz, I have been sewing up a storm. A storm!

I have been participating in this great quilt-along over at The Old Red Barn blog.If you have never quilted, or are pretty new, this was a GREAT way to do it. Every week she had a new step. When I finish, my quilt will be almost Queen-sized. Which is highly awesome, but highly intimidating. I have some smaller blocks, leftover from cutting the bigger squares, though. And so I made someone in my family who may read this blog a birthday present**, because it is coming up soon and we ALWAYS crap out on her gift. Because she lives in freaking-Dubai and we can't really mail them anything because they end up having to double-pay for mail forwarding. Anyhoo, this is a glimpse.

THEN I made another blanket, this time for a baby in India. Because I am a giver. I found this website


which encourages crafters to spread the love. And you know how loving I am. And giving.
So I just made this little old thing
and am going to mail it off Monday or someping. (And if you want to jump on my bandwagon, they are accepting blankets, booties, and beanies until July 25.)

So there you go.

Also, I lost my camera and am having to take stills from the Flip Phone. Boo.

Also, W and Jooj got me a firepit for my birthday. Yay!

**Other family member who just had a birthday, your present is not on this blog. But it is awesome. Don't worry.

Support the Troop's Wife

For my Christmas gift this year, I want to you tell me one (or more) of the things that make you great. Serious things--none of this "I am excellent at ignoring my housework" or "I beat my child better than anyone around." No back-handed compliments this time. Unlurk yourself.

I'll start:

I am really, truly good at serving others. I just am. Even when I don't want to, even when I wish I wasn't doing it, I serve others. And I am good at it.

Your turn.