How much do I hate bugs?

I think I just broke my finger killing a spider. I really think it is broken. I hit the spider so hard that I think I broke my finger. Ouch.

But it was a hairy spider the size of a half-dollar. And I killed the crap out of it.

PS--when I was little I used to be so afraid that the resurrection would come while I was on the toilet, and all of the dead bugs we had flushed would appear and bite my buns.

PPS--My finger really hurts.

A Question for the Masses:

Today I have been thinking a lot about monikers--particularly good ones. Maybe it is because Lohan is getting out of rehab, maybe it is because I got a new car, maybe it is because it is 90 degrees in October, maybe it is because my ovaries are pumping out another useless little egg. Who knows why these things are in my head--who knows, I ask? (But not really. I mean, YOU can't possibly know, unless you are the ghost whisperer. And really, that is just a stupid show that should be taken off of the air, so if you ARE the ghost whisperer, then hari kari yourself.)

Anyhoo, back to nicknames. I have been daydreaming about what the press would call me if I were a serial killer or sonesings.
The two best ones I have ever heard of are already taken:
Long Island Lolita
OJ

Any suggestions? What would you like your Lifetime movie to refer to you as?