Mission: Completion!

Last night was our Ward Thanksgiving Party. I am the Activities Committee Chair, as well as the entire committee. I rely on the ward council to second-guess my decisions and tell me that I am wrong about everything, and then I go forward making no one completely happy. It is a great system.

So, the tradition is a talent show along with the dinner, but let me tell you--it is painful. We have some very talented people in the ward, and none of them share their talents. Mostly it is Sunbeams breathing into the microphone and HPs telling goofy jokes. Plus, the majority of the ward is out of town, so I decided to forgo the show in favor of watching a movie.

Oh, the blasphemous horror!

I stuck to my guns, but told people that if they were dying to perform, OF COURSE we would love to be entertained. Again, no one wanted to do any talents. (But I am sure that this will be remembered as "The year we weren't ALLOWED to have a talent show.")

**A side note: We got off to a rocky start last weekend on our way home from California, and ended up taking two days to get home, which meant I missed the ward council meeting last week. I had the dinner all planned and assigned, and I informed the 1st councilor that I was going to be gone, and let him know of my plans. He was very cool with it. So at the meeting, the RS president decided that my plans were not acceptable, changed them all, and then told me "Well, somebody had to pick up the ball. You weren't there." Later, she told me "You don't have enough people doing this, and you don't have enough things assigned. You are going to find out that it is much harder than you think it is, and you will be in trouble." (She wasn't there last night.)**

This wasn't supposed to be a story about how rough I had it. Please excuse.

Anyhoo, I got there early to set up, and found the bishopric readying a fryer for a turkey. We set up the tables, and the missionaries helped me decorate. I heated up some food in the oven, the High Priests came with the projector, set up the movie, and people started pouring in. They brought their food and desserts, and started eating. I asked a friend to sit with Jooj and make sure she ate, and while they ate I cleaned up the kitchen. Another friend helped me clean, and they started a movie. People went home instead of watching the movie, which meant that I got to clean up even earlier. The tables and chairs got put away, the floors were mopped, and I took the dishes home to wash. And we all got home by 9 pm.

So, basically, people are good. They see that they are needed and help out. I didn't have it rough. I didn't fail. And when people told me "You did such a great job!" I responded with "I didn't do very much at all--everyone helped out."

And that is why I love this Church. Because, despite the crankiness, people are good.

Amember Me?

So, for all twelve of the readers, I will recap the past month. Mostly pics because I am too tired to use my brain and write words. But I am still thankful. I am especially thankful I don't have to live in the same house as Tyra Banks. So many wigs and so many accents.

The candy apple tree I made. Mini apples dipped in chocolate and stuck on sticks. Big hit.
Jooj hearing like a bat at the Discovery Science Center. She still can't hear me say "No le tocas!"

Identical Cousins.4999 sharp nails. But there's room for 5000. Any volunteers?

Almost to the top. No broken bones yet. Yet.

Stay tuned for beach, Mickey, fires, and Wind Power.

PS: Jooj woke up twice last night saying "Not another ephenant! (elephant)" No idea why.

Thankful for being able to skip a couple of days

Because I HAVE been thankful, just exhausted.
Jooj and I drove to California where we are visiting cousins and brothers and sisters and moms and dads and aunts and uncles and nieces. (But no nephews.)

Today we are going to Disneyland.
Tomorrow we are also going to Disneyland.

Friday we are going to Trader Joe's and Ikea.

Saturday we are going home.

And Sunday I will be exhausted again.

We went to the temple yesterday and there were no protestors and it was just fine. Apparently they are planning some ridiculous protest (not ridiculous because they have the right to do it, but ridiculous because it is so pointless to yell hateful things at a building that has NO ABILITY to change the law. Why not protest in front of a courthouse or city hall? Or state hall. Or whatever?) on Saturday. So I will not be going there then.

And we are thankful to be with family. But I will also be really thankful when Jooj is sleeping by herself again and not on me.

Also, I am thankful for NPR, which got me through much of the drive.

Thankful for my Home

Sometimes living in the EP makes me giddy.

Thankful For a Puritanical Sense of Guilt

So, the e-brake on my car needs to be fixed before it will pass the safety requirements for Texas, and I can't afford to go to California AND get it fixed at the same time, so I decided to put it off until the fifteenth when I can budget it in. (Because we have one hill here. So I am not concerned.) But because my sticker has expired (in Texas the safety sticker is separate from the registration) I can't drive on post, so I had to call a friend to take me to the medical clinic to pick up the happy pills.

(I don't remember the depth I have gone into on this blog about the crazy (I know I could go through the archives, but we have discussed the laziness already) but I have clinical depression and an anxiety disorder, and I have had them since I was in Jr. High, and will most likely have them until either menopause or death. The anxiety is not a big deal any more, but the depression is cyclical, like a bell-curve. At the bottom I am fine, and then it builds, builds, builds, until I can not really function, on that curvey, belley part and, then after a while, it goes back down the slope. Repeat. So I GOTS to have me the happy pills to function, or the time between curvey, belley episodes is super quick.)

So she dropped me off in front of the clinic so I could run into the pharmacy and grab the good stuff. When I went to take a number, I grabbed 964. And I glanced down and saw that someone had discarded ticket 948. I looked at the sign, and they were on number 947. I looked around furtively and put it in my pocket. My heart was beating like crazy--I felt so dishonest! And then they called 948. I waited a beat or two to see if anyone stood up, and then I headed to the counter!

Now, I know that you are all thinking that this is patently lame of me. But you have to understand that I HAVE NEVER tried to get over or rocked the boat or anything in my whole life. I don't take cuts, I don't keep money I find in the street, I turn in EVERYTHING to the lost and found. (There is a school bus stop outside of my house, and a kid left a new copy of The Sims on my driveway. And I LOVE computer games. It was the summer, so I brought it inside so it dodn't get damaged, and I left a note telling them I had it. I left that note for seven days. And I still feel guilty every time I see that stupid game.) So in my mind, I was quasi-stealing. Just writing about this is making my heart beat faster.

And I seriously don't know how people live on the edge like this every day. I think I would have a stroke.

Gracias por Mi Esposo

Being vanquished by DaStew. Who is his twin brother, apparently.

I am thankful for my sweet W.

Because today, when I woke up all chipper and cheery--despite sleeping with a toddler wedged in my baby-hole--I was assaulted by nonsense and got REALLY cranky.

Because--silly me--I thought that since the elections are over we could all SHUT UP. But I received three zillion forwards telling me "Let's go 2010/2012!!!" and "Democrats hate goodness" and "Suck it Republicans!" and "Stressed is Dessert spelled backwards!" and I got crabby. Because I really, truly, had no cares about who won this election, except I wanted Their Dad to still have a job, and to be able to keep saying "Saxby Chambliss." But, NO! The Internets still want to talk about it. BAAAH!

Because I went to work out and they were watching Yoga in Spanish while listening to "Living in America" and I could not concentrate on my cloits and dloits because I kept hearing the man say "Spanish Spanish Spanish Coccyx Spanish Spanish Spanish Sacrum."

Because I came home and the JW's stopped by and--instead of trying to save me--started pestering me for the toddler bed in my garage. "But you no have a baby! I need it now!" "But I am adopting" "But you no have a baby NOW. I need it NOW." Thanks, JW lady, for reminding me that keeping baby clothes is a futile waste of space because I am broken. I hope that Prince gets to heaven instead of you. Also--thanks for not caring about my eternal SOUL.

Because it is 80 degrees again and WHERE IN THE HELL IS MY WINTER?

But then I can talk to my sweet W, and we can have the following conversation:
"I want to punch you in the baby maker."
"You are a dirty Pirate Hooker. Why don't you go back to Whore Island?"

And--the beauty of my marriage--I can know that he loves me and we will laugh and talk about nothing and he won't tell me I am wrong and misinformed and useless as a woman and Obama! and McCain! and Prop 8! and Jesse Jackson! and Canada! and Bring Our Troops Home Momentarily Before We Send Them to Fight in Afghanistan! He just tells me that Dorothy Mantooth is a Saint and that he loves me and I should go buy a pencil skirt.

I am so thankful for him. So thankful that in less than 200 days I am going to take him out to a nice seafood dinner, and then I WILL call him again.

One more thing...

I am also thankful that I am not a slut.

No particular reason, just thankful.

Thankful for Bedtime

Honestly, that is all I've got. I am thankful that Jooj is asleep. Because I am exhausted.

Oh--and I am thankful for the great state of Hawaii and their awesome Haystacks.

Maybe I will be more thankful tomorrow when I am back to getting a few minutes to myself. Or not. Grr.

"I Got Pink Eyes and Pink Super Goop in Me Pink Eyes!"

Today I am thankful for the ability to hope. Specifically to hope that we will one day live more than fifty miles from an Army medical facility. Because then we will get to use civilian providers again.

Because Jooj woke up with the pink gold in both eyes.

And because we live less than fifty miles from a medical facility we have to jump through the military hoops. We might as well be in Vancouver, eh.

This is how it went down:
1. Ten minutes on hold.
2. Me: "My kid has pink eye."
3. Nurse: "Call the Central Booking and make an appointment. She needs to be seen within 24 hours."
4. Ten Minutes on hold
5. "My kid has pink eye."
6. Central Booking soldier: "We have no appointments available this week."
7. Me: "But my kid has wicked PINK EYE. I need a bottle of antibiotics. That's all. Just a prescription!"
8. Central Booking soldier who has no medical training or compassion or any damns to give: "Call the Nurse hot line and see if there is anything that they can do."
9. Fifteen minutes on hold
10. Me: "My kid has wicked bad pink eye."
11. Nurse: "Call and make an appointment."
12. Me: "I did. They said to call you."
13. Nurse: "Oh. Well then, I can authorize you to go to a civilian provider. You must go to this one, specific, Urgent Care half-an-hour away."
14. Me: "Sweet."
15. Me: "Hi, Urgent Care, my kid has wicked bad double pink eye."
16. Urgent Care: "Yup. Here is a prescription. I am doubling the dose, because you will probably get it, too, and I don't want you to have to go through this nonsense again."
17. Me: "I love you, Urgent Care. Do you need a used wife?"

SEVENTEEN STEPS. SEVENTEEN FREAKING STEPS.

But, somewhere in my heart, I have hope. Hope that one day we will just skip to step twelve. Because it is worth W commuting for easy access to civilian providers. And for all you who want socialized medicine, I hope you get pink eye.

PS I am also thankful for antibiotics. And 1/2 off Halloween candy.

I am thankful for a (Representative) Democracy

I still don't know who I am voting for on Tuesday. I am inclined to vote for everyone Republican, just so that I can hope that there will be some sort of gridlock. Because when everyone is all the same party too many things change and get all wacky. And you know that everyone is going to get SUPER wacky with Nancy and Trent and Barack. But, as I have lamented, a Republican vote in El Paso is a vote in the toilet.

But I am grateful that I can vote and that, for the most part, the people we elect are genuinely trying to do their best. That we are out of Tammany Hall days (except for, maybe, that whole voter registration scandal thing) and that I can safely say that I am not going to go to bed tonight and wake up to a junta. And that our system does not work on bribes. (Except for that Alaskan Senator's system.)

And I am grateful to have smart, well-educated, well-spoken friends who can tell me why they are voting the way that they are without insulting me or rolling their eyes. Because one thing I am sick of is the divisive political talk that has taken over. I have read (and heard) people say "I can't believe I am friends with someone who would vote for McCain!/Obama!" And that makes me sad. Because if Rodney King taught us anything, it was that we should all just get along. (And not flee from the cops while on PCP. And when you are being beaten, just stay down and cover your head.) Also, whoever wins on Tuesday night, we all have to live with it for four years. So there.

Again, I am undecided. Probably Republican, but maybe not. I don't particularly like either of them. But I DO like Tina Fey on SNL, so a Sarah Palin VP would make the next bunch of Saturdays entertaining.

If you can give me a rational reason to vote for your candidate, I would love to hear it. If it is all rhetoric and "You just don't love the troops/Jesus/Black People/America" then please keep a pie in your pie hole.

And check out DaStew for his take on it. Very interesting. (Even though his dream nation is France-ico.)

Thankful Month

I am trying an experiment--every day until Thanksgiving I am going to write one thing I am thankful for. In theory, this will get me out of the hateful place that the Trunk or Treat brought me to, and get me in a mood to celebrate all I have. We'll see how it goes.

Right now I am thankful for my healthy body that can do things. It can climb onto the roof and winterize the swamp cooler, and it can kneel to repent for the amount of cursing that occurred while winterizing the swamp cooler. It can drive through Mexico at night and calmly cross the border back into the US. It can exercise to Mariachi music (chorus: Chup! Chup! Chupacabra!) and then weedwhack the yard. I am thankful for this healthy body.