The Search

One of the trickiest things about moving to a new area is replacing all of the services that I need--hair, car, groceries, crack, etc.
The hardest by far has been the hair/nail/eyebrow maintenance search in EP. I have very specific needs (not a mullet) and have had a hard time with the language barrier. (Bad sign: "Ju wan whhispees?")
But yesterday my search for the nail place got a little bit further. We were killing time at the crappy crappy mall next to Costco (the mall with a store called "Aromas of Nature") and I noticed that the nail place didn't have a big wait, so I went in for a manicure.

(Let me first state that I have a few UNBENDING requirements for a nail place.
1. I want very little English from my nail techs. Even if they can speak fluently, I don't want to know about it. Very judgmental of me, playing into stereotypes, I know, so suck it. I want to get massaged and prettied without having to talk to anyone about anything other than "French Tip?"
2. I want a bunch of fancy pedi chairs--I don't want to wait and think about the person who may have sat there before me.
3. I do not want to see the bizarre nail posters (My least favorite? "Coffee and Nails"))

As I entered the place, the "boss" called me honey three times. Con
But they immediately sat me down and had me soak my hands. Pro
Boss tried to practice his English with a client. Con
Client was not me. Pro
No Nail Posters ANYWHERE. Pro
Nine Pedi Chairs. Pro
Manicure tech told me I had "Way too much cuticle. Been too long since last manicure. Very lazy." Con
Also told me Jooj was very big for her age. Pro
Old eyebrow waxing lady said the following sentences: "Ahnyong ahnyong ahnyong Fajita." "Ahnyong ahnyong ahnyong Mexican Restaurant." Pro!
Manicure tech washed my hands for me. Didn't even want me to be near my hands. Pro.
HEATED TOWELS. Pro Pro Pro!
Boss started teasing manicure tech in English. She played along for two sentences and then yelled at him in not English and from the look on her face, I think that she threatened his manhood, possibly his life. Pro.

So I think I may have found my nail place.