I can't do anything anymore. Seriously. All I do is sit/sleep/boot. In the morning I wake up and think that I am going to accomplish something. Maybe one load of laundry! Possibly I will vaccuum! And then I start. And then I am finished before the chore is. I have tried to do crafty things while I am sitting, and I just get dizzy. I haven't sewed in fifteen weeks. I haven't done anything in fifteen weeks. I estimate that I have cooked five meals since November. Including Christmas Eve. For the first time in our married lives, we are consistently out of clean clothing. I am hiring a cleaning lady with money I don't have, and I can't clean before she gets here. Do you feel my desperation?
I can't go on like this. I can't do this for another five months. People keep telling me it will pass, but I really don't believe them. I mean, my abs are getting nice and hard from the reverse crunches over the toilet, and I haven't gained a single pound, but those are not compelling enough reasons to LOVE this. And when these people tell me it will pass they also tell me "You are so blessed--LOVE every minute!" "Do you love every minute?" "LOVE IT!!" And then they touch my belly where there is NO baby, just fat. And I don't have the heart to tell them I hate it. I hate it and they are touching my hibernation pouch, not the fetus. The fetus is down where it is less polite to pat and rub. I know this because I saw the baby's spine the other day. It was amazing. And the LONG legs. I can't believe I am making those. But it explains all too well where my energy is going. I didn't see the bottle with the "XXX" label that I think it is pouring into my blood stream. And I didn't see a gender. Well, I think I saw a gender, but it might be the cord. They can't say for sure for another few weeks.
And when I saw the spine and the legs and the heart and the brain and the GIANT HEAD OF MY IN-LAWS I thought, for a tiny minute, "maybe this is all worth it!" And then I threw up and I changed my mind. And thought again of the GIANT HEAD OF MY IN-LAWS and wondered if I can schedule a pre-emptive C-Section. Because these people, the in-laws, have giant heads. Have you seen them?
In other news, coffee is not keeping things down. I am ready to move on to gin.
Monday, January 11, 2010
In Which You Can See My Inner Workings.
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16 comments:
I shall tell them you hate it, for you. I'm getting really good at it.
Sorry for the yuck. But yay for the long-legged big-headed baby!
um, well, at least your fetus is grande, no?
xoxo
smoothies. Go smoothies. Maybe add some fresh ginger??
I have felt your pain, and lo, it is terrible, and doth sucketh greatly.
I have no advice. I hope it passes.
I can't decide if I'm envious or not. I mean, you're hiring a cleaning lady! A cleaning lady!
Yay! This is so fabulous. I mean, hate every minute of it, by all means, but how fabulous is it to see that little, tiny picture of that little, tiny person?
Also, enjoy the cleaning lady. And do not clean before she comes.
Yeah for grandbabies!!
It truly takes the magic out of the whole experience when you have such a personal relationship with the toilet.
This is my 4th pregnancy & at 9 weeks, I finally got some zofran. I don't know how I went without it (bad side effects and all) the other 3 times, but I don't have any option not to function with the boys all needing me.
Have you tried something rx related?
Oh I hear you. My pregnancies were nightmarish. I still shiver when I see a pregnant woman.
Here's the problem: the women who feel good are just too vocal about it and it makes everyone expect the rest of us to feel wonderful and love it.
So sorry. I too took Zofran and other concoctions. I also like Fresca because it soothes the throat and isn't too bad coming back up.
xoxo, m
Swishing with mouthwash after the reverse crunches helped me feel a smidgen better after puking.
The sickies do suck.
Just because something is ultimately worth it doesn't mean the process to get there doesn't completely suck! I am lucky that my first was such as good, sweet baby, otherwise there would not have been 2 or 3. I'm with you! I hate, hate, hate being pregnant but love, love, love the babies.
By the way, even though it is both reassuring and a little cool, it is okay to be totally wierded out by the kicking and not love that either :-) Also, don't worry about the laundry and cooking. There will be plenty of time to do all that in about 18 years when your children are grown.
I never understood the happy pregnant people. Hated it, both times. I never understood the belly touching thing either. We instituted a holiday party ban on bringing your own 'spirits' to our house after a very tipsy great grandpa decided it was OK to pat my baby belly before I was showing...and it was in the RIGHT place.
I do however greatly want your cleaning lady.
All I know is I kept the sick away with pickled foods, and salty stuff. Odd, but it worked for me. Despite what BabyCenter says...protein does not always help.
I am so sorry. I would love to come to your house and pre-clean for your cleaning lady, or make you dinner, or anything you wanted, and NOT pet your middle. Too bad I'm too many miles away to be helpful.
But I can do this . . .
(Stand by for Facebook song dedication.)
I like and can relate to this "hibernation pouch" rather than baby business.
Sigh.
"haven't done anything in fifteen weeks? i beg to differ. you're growing a baby." now that's something!
I ditto what Dalene said ... you are doing PLENTY just by breathing ... and I say you should go ahead and HATE it when you hate it, and LOVE it when you love it and tell anyone who can't deal with that to go ahead and take over your gestational duties FOR YOU (and sense they can't, they can just shut their mouths!).
PS - I suspect it's a sure sign that I'm missing any sort of maternal streak, but the only thing I can make out on your sonogram is the little XXX bottle. ;)
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