So, I had a rather tumultuous weekend. It started off with me almost filing for divorce. Let me paint the picture:
Date night
TV Announcer doing the voiceover :"Helen Keller once said..."
W, interrupting at the top of his lungs: "MWRRAAAW"
He just couldn't understand why it is wrong to make a Helen Keller joke. On our date. Especially when he knows I am a fan of all jokes that end with the punchline "Ilene" or "Irene." (For the Asian version.)
I tried to explain that it is just known that you don't make Helen Keller jokes in romantic settings.
He disagreed and proceeded to list date-like-settings in which such jokes would be very appropriate.
1. At a Helen Keller Comedy Central Roast.
2. If you were at Prom with Helen Keller's ex-BFF and you wanted to make her feel like you understood her pain.
3. Dining at the Hitler Youth Ice Cream Sociable.
4. To make Rosalie Ding Ding Tampon feel less self-conscious.
I acquiesced, and allowed that in those settings, it might be appropriate, nay, expected.
We agreed to disagree. And I decided to try a temporary separation wherein he went to Sonic and got me a Lime Rickey.
Except that he DIDN'T get me one. He promised and then had to take an important call.
So I went and got one my owndangself.
So what I want to know is:
Can I get a ruling that will require him to help defray my attorney and Lime Rickey fees?
Monday, October 23, 2006
Curt and Rod
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16 comments:
Oooohhhhh...life is so flowers and sausages.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
Steve?
I have no eye deer.
I mentioned I was out of Pero last night. Tonight I checked the pantry and I am still out. The fact that I didn't actually ASK him to pick some up doesn't excuse his culpability.
We'll have an angry divorcee support group.
You know, I could've eventually forgiven the Helen Keller joke, but HE FORGOT THE LIME RICKEY???
Did you know October is domestic violence awareness month?
Oh Yen....
You don't even need to get an attorney...ANY judge will see the Lime Ricky debacle as obvious grounds for divorce....... More money for Lime Ricky's right?
I would just like to point out that while I was talking on the phone, I was getting dressed to go out and get the freaking lime rickey. I got down the stairs as the car was pealing out of the driveway. When I tried to call, the phone was on the couch. Will this help? Obviously not, as you are all women, and therefore, insane.
Watch it with the insanity comments, Waldo. You just may end up playing "Where's Waldo" for real.
I'll cop to insanity.
You want a Lime Rickey because you secretly desire Ricky and W senses that so therefore felt in his best interest NOT to pleasure you with the fruity, delishus, thirst-quenching with the most fabulous ice except maybe the ice from Matthew McConoughey's own personal kitchen "Lime" Rickey.
Getting me lime Rickey's is actually in our pre-nup.
I say strangle him with a purple ribbon.
ladies, comments about killing me or abducting me are not helping you beat the insanity rap. Just thought I'd point that out.
I didn't mention killing. You may have just assumed that strangling meant killing, but it could just mean turning purple to match the ribbon.
WhaaaHaaaaHaaa! Insanity, I think not.
And then...when they took off the ribbon...
HIS HEAD FELL OFF!!!!!
you said it, not me.
~J, that was EXACTLY what I was thinking. We should wife swap. And have our households remain the same. Except I would get to go to Nordstroms and you would get to go to Mexico.
Thanks for the love, labies.
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