A Glimpse Into My Marriage

(Did I spell marriage right up there? Blogger spell check is down and I have looked at it too many times and the word has lost all meaning.)

W and I have about ten billion inside jokes and bits and things. We have been best friends for almost seventeen years, so there are bound to be inside bits and jokes and things.

They have become kind of a shorthand in our family, and when they creep into my daily outside conversations I realize that not everyone knows my things and bits and jokes. And then I have to explain, and that is tedious and no one likes it as much as I want them to.

So I am going to lay them out ahead of time. Then, when I use my jokes and things and bits you will know what I am speaking of and be appreciative. Feel free to use them, if they work for you. I am a giver, we all know.


So--here is today's bit. Inspired by the fact that I wanted to put a note on a shared Reader item, but then realized no one would understand it. So now you will.

When W and I were dating he worked at a venerable Provo "Italian" restaurant called The Dick Oven. (Not actually called The Dick Oven.) He worked with a bunch of serious degenerates (in that they took degenerating very seriously, not that they were without mirth) and one was named something super Irish, like Paddy O'St.Patrick'sDay or something like that. Another degenerate was a really, really, really stupid girl with a gigantic rack. We will call her Bettina, because I can't remember her name, and Bettina sounds appropriate.

Bettina had a crush on one of the illegals (DAMN THEM, TAKING OUR JOBS--that was for you, Grandma--)that The Dick hired to bus tables. She really wanted to hook up with him, but didn't know how to breach the language gap. She was complaining to Paddy and W that she wished she knew Spanish because then she could appropriately explain her desire to procreate with this boy. Paddy told her that he was fluent in Spanish, and had just the phrase.

Bettina: "Where did you learn Spanish?"
Paddy: "It's my native tongue--I am actually from Ireland, by way of Mexico."
Bettina: "I had no idea!"
Paddy: "I know. I get that a lot."
Bettina: "So what do I tell him?"
Paddy: "Walk right up and say "El Wanto."
Bettina: "Thanks! You guys are the best!"

So there you have it:
El Wanto.

Feel free to express your inner Mick-sican.