An Open Letter to Advertisers

The following commercials are ludicrous:

1. The soy milk commercial where the book club hostess is serving tumbler-fulls of Silk. Really? Soy milk at book club? Really? And a whole tumbler? Really?

2. Mariposa, the butterfly fairy. Can you make this song inaudible to adult ears? Because it is always in my head. And I will never buy this because the song is driving me nuts.

3. Whatever diet product this is--I don't care what Topanga looks like, or how much she weighs. Please put her boobs away from my eyes.

4. Prescription Meds for Whatever--Do you REALLY think that grandpa is watching Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency? Why are you paying for airtime for your arthritis pills? And why do you think all the old people want to sculpt things from clay? We all know they want to have their ED treated so they can get on other old people. Now we are thinking about our grandparents reenacting that scene from Ghost. Thanks.

In addition, Lindsay Wagner is not a good spokesperson for anything.