NICU Playlists

I feel like my version of nesting is clearing out all of the things that are rattling around in my brain.  Hence all the posts.

21 weeks, which means that if history is to be repeated, I have eleven weeks before this kid gets yanked out of my gigantic, this-close-to-having-a-stroke body.  I haven't bought anything because I have learned the hard way that a preemie is ridiculous to prepare for--nothing fits, they don't come home for a while, and all you really need is a camera.  (Although I DID just see this on Pinterest and I feel like it will be 9000% appropriate for this sure-to-be-neglected fourth child.)

So how do I prepare for a preemie and a NICU stay?  I practice songs.  Studies have shown that crying releases hormones, and NOTHING makes me shoot hormones out of my eyes more than singing sappy/maudlin/borderline child abusive songs to a tiny, wired-up little ball of Galan.  There are certain ones that are standards for all of the kids, but each kid also gets their own anthem.  (Well, not Jooj.  Because she got ALL of the songs.)

Songs All of My Babies Hear

• Old Shep--Everything you love will die.  Heads up.
• Poor Babes in the Woods--learn about dying because you ran away from home early, kid.
• Little Boy Bubble--A family favorite.  I have not met anyone else who sings it, but I learned it from my grandpa.
• My Pigeon House--I recently learned that MY grandpa learned it from HIS grandma.  I thought that he just sort of made it up, or something.  No one dies in this one.  
• Johnny Verbeck--A cautionary tale about lunch meats.  This one is good to sing while they are burping.  It has a nice patting rhythm.
• There is a Reason.  This is more for my heart than theirs, to be honest.  The NICU is tough, y'all.

Buster's Special Songs

• Loving You--from Passion.  Super maudlin.  
• I Will--The Beatles.  Fun Fact--I originally learned this from The Chipmunks.  Keeping it Classy, y'all

Jody's Special Songs

• All About Your Heart--Mindy Gledhill.  
• Anchor--Mindy Gledhill (I was kind of on a kick.  Who am I kidding?  I'm always on a kick.)
•  Mary's Lullaby--It was Christmas, you know.

I don't know what I will sing to this one, yet.  Probably Go Back Home, a la Audra McDonald will be in the rotation because I sing it every day anyway. Maybe Eidelweiss because I love me some Christopher Plummer.  And Germans.  Any suggestions?  I have eleven weeks to learn...

I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watchtowering Me...

I don't know a whole lot about other religions. I mean, I know the basic tenets of Catholicism and Judaism and I know lots of anecdotal things about the Baptists and the Lutherans (from the picketing of Temple Square and A Prairie Home Companion, respectively). I watched Witness, so I feel reasonably versed in Amish-ism, and I see the Mennonites at WalMart all the time. (They make the best cheese in the land, you know. The Mennonites. Not WalMart.) But the stricter, more secretive religions? The ones that don't seem to play well with other kids? I don't know much. This is why I am terrified.

Because the Jehovah's Witnesses are out to get me.

Item one: They proselyte in my neighborhood every weekend. EVERY WEEKEND. Not a big deal, except when they let my dog out and then watch as I struggle to keep my kid in the house and chase a barking maniac. Also, I like some of the pictures in The Watchtower. They amuse me. And one time they told me that there was no music in heaven except for angelic harps. Boo to that, I said.

Item two: They come to my house every weekend. Even though I have never let them in. Not a big deal. Except that they come early in the morning. And one time one of the ladies told me I was being selfish for not giving her my crib stored in the garage.

Item three: Last week I got a letter from a Jehovah's Witness. I don't know who sent it. It told me that, since we were such great friends, it would be a shame if they didn't let me in on a little secret--Jehovah might want to save me. Again, I don't know who sent it. I think it was from someone I bought something from online. Or something. Since I am NOT a Jehovah's Witness, I don't actually KNOW any Jehovah's Witnesses. Because they, apparently, are not encouraged to be friends with non-believers. This is what I gathered from the letter. Also, that if I did not become one, I would not be allowed to be this lady's friend any longer. Except that I don't know who she is.

Item four: A few days later I got ANOTHER letter from a Jehovah's witness. This one, also addressed to "my friend, La Yen" was from someone who claimed to be a neighbor, but lives about six zip codes to the west. Same spiel, but with the added caveat of very nice handwriting. I sent the letter to DaStew for his birthday, since I actually KNOW him, and think that he deserves to maybe be saved, as well.

Item five: Yesterday morning, as I was sleeping in late because of a wicked head cold, they came to my door and asked for me by name. Just me. W told them I was asleep, and already religioned. I don't know how they got my name. Is there a central processing agency over to Kingdom Hall? Am I getting referred by all of my anonymous friends? I am so confused.

And scared. Because I only know a little about the JWs, and most of it is mixed up with all I read in Us Weekly about the Scientologists. So am I going to get kidnapped by Prince and then forced to endure a silent childbirth? Is Tom Cruise going to come to my door with an umbrella and then tell me to quit my medications cold turkey? Look what happened to Michael Jackson! Should I be worried? Because I am.