Update #2

In case you were wondering how my spam box was doing, I just received this from everyone's best friend, Jingtao Schrader. (You remember Jingtao Schrader--from band camp?)

Wats up La Yen holy (poopy)! can you even (potty) out of that thing? Jingtao Schrader.

I don't get it--do we want to have the biggest anaconda or a functioning prostate? Can we not have both? How can we decide? It is like Sophie's Choice, I say. Or Back to the Future. Do I pretend to be all into my mother so my father will get angry and get over his fear of Biff? Or do I just play with Otis Redding?

Update

From this post.

Apparently both George and James can help "turn the gardener snake in your pants into a python."

Thank heavens.

Because I have been really concerned about my reptilian situation.