I have a gambling situation.
I'd say problem, except it really isn't problematic. And I could quit any time I wanted, but I don't want to. The odds of me wanting to quit are 1000:1, by the way, if you wanted to bet on me wanting to quit, which I don't want to but I could if I wanted to. Which I don't.
I used to play slots in Vegas, which was awesome because (no seriously) I never lost. I have a fifth sense wherein I can walk into a casino, sniff the air, and say "That nickel Monopoly machine is paying out within three spins." And then I make $60. I don't think of this as gambling, I think of this as WINNING $55.85. My dear husband, however, thinks of this as gambling and doesn't like the way my eyes look in Vegas or driving through Vegas or talking about Vegas. WHATEVER.
So I stopped winning in Vegas and have started gambling at home. Want in? It is a rush :
I wake up in the morning and the odds of me getting pants on before the boys punch each other are pretty even. Not much, but if I win I get a little morning bump for the day.
Odds on me choosing the right breakfast for JodyP: 2:1 against, 4:1 against if I have asked what he wanted and gave him that exact thing.
Odds on there being dishes clean for breakfast: 2:1 because my sweet husband usually does them. Unless he is watching Netflix.
Odds on me getting Sara a new diaper before she nude-pees 5:1. She is an angel.
Odds on me getting JodyP a new diaper before he runs away yelling "MAKEDBOY!!!" 12:1 against. That one is thrilling.
 |
| WHAMMY. |
Odds on me washing the same load of laundry that washed thrice the day before. 100% in favor. Sucker's bet. There is NO way I am placing that one. It is more likely I would write a blog post.
CRAP. Mommy needed a new pair of shoes.
Posts
3 comments:
Yeah, what is the deal with kids who freak out when you give them THE EXACT THING they asked for? My three-year-old does this, and the two-year-old has learned his wicked ways. "Toe! Nunny." I present him with toast and honey. Tantrums ensue.
Welcome to four kids! You just did it backwards from me.....I had 3 in 3 years then waited 5 for #4 and you had 1, waited 5 years then had 3 in 3 years. Crazy any way you look at it! (Is my math right?)
This is hilarious! I love the first one about getting pants on. My husband once commented that he found it odd that I put "get dressed" on the top of my to-do list. But usually, things get busy and I make breakfast, nurse the baby, clean up a spill, shuffle kids out the door to the bus, and write my to-do list before I have a chance to pee or change clothes. So, I write it on my list so that I get to it b/f I get to much farther into the day. And then at least I have one thing I can actually cross off. Boy that feels good.
Post a Comment