Wrong.
You are great at buying gifts for yourself.
Because you know yourself.
You just need to learn how to buy gifts for others.
And that is not a talent, it is a skill. And I will share my secret ways with you.
(They are not really a secret. But I like to feel mysterious.)
First off, remember the rules:
1. This is not about you. It is about your recipient.
2. The thought really does count.
To these, I add some guidelines:
1. Know your budget
2. Know your recipient.
Shall we walk through this?
When you are trying to decide on gifts, I think it is best to start pondering early. Like October. Give yourself plenty of time to think about the recipient and what they are like. If you are lucky enough to be able to spend time together, you can do some noticing and a little snooping; check out their kitchen or bathroom and see what types of products they like. Is there a well-used bread knife that is on its last legs? Are the towels in the bathroom gifts from their wedding 30 years ago? Do they only have spoons that are ragged from accidental garbage disposaling? See what you could replace or upgrade.
"But La Yen! Those gifts are so practical! I would hate getting spoons or towels!"
THIS IS NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT. STOP IT.
So after your snooping, let us say that there is nothing that you can see that needs to be replaced. No problem! Start thinking about what they like to do/be/say/watch/eat. There are lots of clues that we can ferret out from just brainstorming about our recipients. Ask yourself the following questions:
1. How does this person spend the majority of their time? Is it cooking? Cleaning? Reading? Pampering? Do they love movies? Sending you irritating email forwards? Glenn Beck rhetoric? Are they runners or dancers or foodies? Look for gifts that would help them in their daily routines, or that would enhance their hobbies.
"But La Yen! I hate Glenn Beck! I don't want to get my mother a Glenn Beck book!"
THIS IS NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT. STOP IT.
2. If this person could go anywhere in the world, where would it be? Let's say they would love to go to London. They love watching BBC movies and shows, and they love them some Dairy Milk Bars. Consider a guidebook to help them daydream. Are they all about the tropics? I bet there is a Hawaiian BBQ or a Carribbean pork joint you could send them to, gift card in hand.
3. Is this person a tween, teen or college student? Just give them cash or a gift card. That's all they want, anyway.
"But La Yen, those gifts are so boring! That can't be ALL you give them!"
THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU. STOP IT.
4. If you are still feeling stumped, think about your geographic location, relative to theirs. (Stay with me--this will make sense.) If you live somewhere far from them, think about what is abundant near you, but scarce where they live. Example: In El Paso I can't get a Chocodile. This is a crying shame, I tell you. Also, I can't get Cherry Chip cake mix. Does your sister love a certain brand of soda that you haven't found outside the Midwest (Think Verner's)? Because you could have it shipped. If you live in Seattle, Chukar Cherries are something that some people may crave. If you live in Provo, for the love of everything holy, send your loved ones some Some Dude's Fry Sauce. And if you are near a Trader Joe's...you win.
5. Still unable to figure something out? Think commonplace. Everyone has to eat, bathe, drive, and sleep. While not glamorous, a big thing of Gain and a laundry basket or two is a sweet gift for someone who spends 80% of the week in the laundry room. Are there a few restaurants near your recipient's office? Some gift cards will make lunch a lot easier. Fuel gift cards are super sweet, as well. How about some home maintenance things--light bulbs, cleansers, a giant package of dishwasher soap...not pretty, but I bet that, come January, they will appreciate not having to spend money on them.
6. Last question to consider: Have I asked this person what they want? Seriously--have you ASKED them? My stepdad wants wallet-sized pictures of the kids. That makes him really happy. My mom wants the kids to make her an ornament, and if we feel splurgey to give her a gift card for the movies. I called my ~J the other day and said "I want cupcake liners from Ikea." Boom. Done.
"But La Yen, I asked and they said 'Honestly, don't get me anything.' But that can't be right! I MUST GIVE THEM A PRESENT!"
Why? They just let you off of the hook. You just won the big bonus. EMBRACE IT. And if you feel like you can't let a holiday go by without giving them something, first look inward. Are you buying them something because you need them to thank you for a present? Are you buying them something because you need to be the generous one? Are you buying them something because you feel obligated? Seriously--think about it. And if you still feel compelled to give them something I challenge you to write them a letter. Tell them how much you love them. Recount a favorite memory or a time that meant a great deal to you. Fill a jar with slips of paper, each detailing a quality you admire in them. But don't buy them a doggone thing. I can almost guarantee it will be the best gift you give this year.
And if they get all passive-aggressive on you and you hear that they are angry they didn't get a gift after they specifically told you to save your money? Cut the vato.
What do you think? Do you need any specific ideas for specific people? Leave a comment. What's the best gift you ever received? And stay tuned for more tomorrow--I will give you my list of awesome links for awesome gifts from awesome people. Awesome.
You are great at buying gifts for yourself.
Because you know yourself.
You just need to learn how to buy gifts for others.
And that is not a talent, it is a skill. And I will share my secret ways with you.
(They are not really a secret. But I like to feel mysterious.)
First off, remember the rules:
1. This is not about you. It is about your recipient.
2. The thought really does count.
To these, I add some guidelines:
1. Know your budget
2. Know your recipient.
Shall we walk through this?
When you are trying to decide on gifts, I think it is best to start pondering early. Like October. Give yourself plenty of time to think about the recipient and what they are like. If you are lucky enough to be able to spend time together, you can do some noticing and a little snooping; check out their kitchen or bathroom and see what types of products they like. Is there a well-used bread knife that is on its last legs? Are the towels in the bathroom gifts from their wedding 30 years ago? Do they only have spoons that are ragged from accidental garbage disposaling? See what you could replace or upgrade.
"But La Yen! Those gifts are so practical! I would hate getting spoons or towels!"
THIS IS NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT. STOP IT.
So after your snooping, let us say that there is nothing that you can see that needs to be replaced. No problem! Start thinking about what they like to do/be/say/watch/eat. There are lots of clues that we can ferret out from just brainstorming about our recipients. Ask yourself the following questions:
1. How does this person spend the majority of their time? Is it cooking? Cleaning? Reading? Pampering? Do they love movies? Sending you irritating email forwards? Glenn Beck rhetoric? Are they runners or dancers or foodies? Look for gifts that would help them in their daily routines, or that would enhance their hobbies.
"But La Yen! I hate Glenn Beck! I don't want to get my mother a Glenn Beck book!"
THIS IS NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT. STOP IT.
2. If this person could go anywhere in the world, where would it be? Let's say they would love to go to London. They love watching BBC movies and shows, and they love them some Dairy Milk Bars. Consider a guidebook to help them daydream. Are they all about the tropics? I bet there is a Hawaiian BBQ or a Carribbean pork joint you could send them to, gift card in hand.
3. Is this person a tween, teen or college student? Just give them cash or a gift card. That's all they want, anyway.
"But La Yen, those gifts are so boring! That can't be ALL you give them!"
THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU. STOP IT.
4. If you are still feeling stumped, think about your geographic location, relative to theirs. (Stay with me--this will make sense.) If you live somewhere far from them, think about what is abundant near you, but scarce where they live. Example: In El Paso I can't get a Chocodile. This is a crying shame, I tell you. Also, I can't get Cherry Chip cake mix. Does your sister love a certain brand of soda that you haven't found outside the Midwest (Think Verner's)? Because you could have it shipped. If you live in Seattle, Chukar Cherries are something that some people may crave. If you live in Provo, for the love of everything holy, send your loved ones some Some Dude's Fry Sauce. And if you are near a Trader Joe's...you win.
5. Still unable to figure something out? Think commonplace. Everyone has to eat, bathe, drive, and sleep. While not glamorous, a big thing of Gain and a laundry basket or two is a sweet gift for someone who spends 80% of the week in the laundry room. Are there a few restaurants near your recipient's office? Some gift cards will make lunch a lot easier. Fuel gift cards are super sweet, as well. How about some home maintenance things--light bulbs, cleansers, a giant package of dishwasher soap...not pretty, but I bet that, come January, they will appreciate not having to spend money on them.
6. Last question to consider: Have I asked this person what they want? Seriously--have you ASKED them? My stepdad wants wallet-sized pictures of the kids. That makes him really happy. My mom wants the kids to make her an ornament, and if we feel splurgey to give her a gift card for the movies. I called my ~J the other day and said "I want cupcake liners from Ikea." Boom. Done.
"But La Yen, I asked and they said 'Honestly, don't get me anything.' But that can't be right! I MUST GIVE THEM A PRESENT!"
Why? They just let you off of the hook. You just won the big bonus. EMBRACE IT. And if you feel like you can't let a holiday go by without giving them something, first look inward. Are you buying them something because you need them to thank you for a present? Are you buying them something because you need to be the generous one? Are you buying them something because you feel obligated? Seriously--think about it. And if you still feel compelled to give them something I challenge you to write them a letter. Tell them how much you love them. Recount a favorite memory or a time that meant a great deal to you. Fill a jar with slips of paper, each detailing a quality you admire in them. But don't buy them a doggone thing. I can almost guarantee it will be the best gift you give this year.
And if they get all passive-aggressive on you and you hear that they are angry they didn't get a gift after they specifically told you to save your money? Cut the vato.
What do you think? Do you need any specific ideas for specific people? Leave a comment. What's the best gift you ever received? And stay tuned for more tomorrow--I will give you my list of awesome links for awesome gifts from awesome people. Awesome.
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6 comments:
My trick at awesome gift giving is listening. Craig is always amazed that I buy the best gifts for him. That's because, all year long, when he sends me a link with a cool gadet or book, or says, "it would be so cool to have/do......" I write it down in a little notebook. Same with the kids. If we browse the toy aisle for a clearance gift for a friend's party I note which toy they stop and look/play with for 10 minutes.
Also, YES, ask them what they want. After 10 years of marriage Craig realized that I really wanted the things I put on my Christmas list. Christmas got so much better after that because I didn't have to hurt his feelings by wanting to return the dud he bought or keep something he really didn't want.
Which reminds me....what do you need for foetus?
Serio about the husband giving me gifts I ask for. I give him a list and tell him if he gets me one or two from the list, then he can go off the list for one. And this year I told him I was tired of Santa stopping at the Sev at the last minute to fill my stocking, and that Santa would no longer have that job. Because Santa doesn't want crap from the pantry or the glove box.
I am not sure what Foetus needs yet--waiting to get a better idea of his size. But I am suspecting onesies because Buster was wearing 0-3 when he was eight months old and destroyed most of them...
My dad is the easiest person to buy for because he just asks for exactly what he wants. This year he wants a book (which he specifically named and told me to get a nice used copy) and a BYU antenna ball for his car. Because he's hip like that.
My MIL, on the other hand. Ugh. She will never tell us what she wants, and yet she cares VERY MUCH about what we give her. Several years ago she got a serious neck and back injury, so she had to mop her kitchen/dining floor by putting a damp rag on the floor and swishing it back and forth with her foot. Which eventually caused even more damage to her already jacked up knee. (Which got replaced - finally - in May.) So a few years ago the siblings all chipped in to buy her a Scooba floor cleaner. I thought this was an AWESOME gift. She never used it. Like, seriously. NEVER.
Last year my husband went to Deseret Book and called his dad. As he wandered the aisles looking for things his mom would want he asked his dad if she already had those things. She had every single decent thing that she would like. (Not because they can afford for her to go on spending sprees at Deseret Book but because she just goes on spending sprees willynilly.)
So yeah. I don't know what to get her. Ever. It's very frustrating.
I think I'm finally figuring out my parents and their new spouses. Seriously, my dad JUST got married, and I have no idea what to get the new wife that I feel kinda iffy about. Maybe I'll just bake for them.
So how did you ladies get the husband to finally come around to looking at your list?
Soybean Lover- 10 years of failed gift experiences and I sat him down and said , "Seriously, when I give you a list it's because I REALLY want those things. Just shop from the list and it'll be easier for you and more enjoyable for me." Sometimes tough love is the only answer.
When we were first married I had to convince him that it was okay to give/get things that were needed--not everything has to be fun. It took a couple of years, but he finally realized that I valued a new kitchen tool that was needed much more than a surprise tschotske.
Sherry, it sounds like there is nothing that will please your MIL. And that she wants people to read her mind. If I were you, I would start doing the "experience" gifts--the "Pick a day and I will take you to lunch!" gifts. Because if she is going to hate it or not use it, at least you will get lunch out of it. Another option is to go the framed portrait of the grandchild route. Just remember--she secretly thrives on being disappointed at Christmas. So you ARE giving her what she wants!
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