One of my favorite books is A Bargain for Frances. In the story Frances is tricked by her best friend, Thelma, into buying a tea set that she didn't want. Thelma ends up using the money to purchase the tea set of Frances' dreams--one that she swore was no longer available in the store. Before Frances went over to Thelma's home her mother warned her that whenever she plays with Thelma she ends up getting the short end of the stick. At the end of the story Frances realizes that having to be careful is not as much fun as simply being friends. This is a message that has stuck with me my whole life.
This week I have been reminded that even as "grown-ups" we still have to careful with friendships. This is always such a hard pill for me to swallow, as I try to be the kind of person that is friendly to all. My best friends are as close to me (sometimes closer) than my family. I love my inner circle as much as I love my siblings, and would do just about anything for them. And I love that my inner circle is always open for expansion.
Every now and again I realize that there are some people who, for whatever reason, do not believe in friendship the way that I do. These people can be calculating, mistrustful, disloyal, or simply not willing to be honest with those around them. Often they see ulterior motives where there are none, or they are quick to take offense where none is intended (or they have to dig deep to take that offense). They can be social climbers, ready to drop a friend when another comes around with a better offer. The hardest thing for me about these people is that, aside from their tendencies, they are fun and friendly and I enjoy their company. But I have to remember to be careful--not too friendly.
This hurts my heart. I hate having to be careful.
**************************************************
Yesterday one of my favorite women in the world passed away. She left two daughters, one a new mother herself, the other still in high school, both part of my inner circle, as well. She joined her beloved husband in heaven, and I know that there was a joyful reunion (and eight years of "I can't believe you left me and I had to do this all alone!" to yell about) and that she is thrilled to be healthy and happy and ready to to serve on the other side.
I never had to be careful with June. I miss her already.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Being Careful is no fun; Being Friends is Better.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
6 comments:
let's not be careful mmkay?
xo
I just spent two exhausting days getting through some letter-writing muck because of just such a friendship gone wrong. Last night when I finally got the last edit written and sent off, and that painful chapter closed, your post was the first thing my eyes fell upon. I'm really sorry you're having to process a heart hurt, especially at a time when you've also had to say goodbye to a much truer friend, but I'm grateful you shared. What you said was another reminder to me to stay open and keep loving, and to count as incredible Godsends the friends I don't have to be careful with. They're family to me too. Thanks, Jen. Why anybody wouldn't count her lucky stars to be called your friend is way beyond me.
Jen,
I was so sorry to hear about June. I wish I had taken the time to get to know her better.
I'm also sorry to hear that people have been letting you down. I wish that would never happen to someone as wonderful as you. I've been missing you and everyone else in El Paso so much the last few days. The other night, there was the possibility that I could go into labor with no one I trusted to go with me to the hospital (due to some family emergencies). I thought that never would have happened if I was still in El Paso because I had the most fantastic, supportive friends there. I hope you have a better week and that you don't always have to be so careful.
I'm SO sorry to hear you've lost such a good/true friend. There's not much I can say to make it any better or easier ... but you do have the love and support of a LOT of the rest of us to help you get through. And I'm sure you've got a hundred people ahead of me on the list, but you can always call me anytime you wanna talk. BIG HUGS!!!
Your post is so TRUE! Well put, cousin. Sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. Sending lots of love your way ; )
I so agree. I really love good friends that you can just spill it and not worry about anything. I'm sorry for your loss.
Post a Comment