My baby is in kindergarten today.
I feel like the world is a lonely, hopeless place. One where mothers have to send their babies to kindergarten.
I am spending my day Googling skin cancer signs. Because it makes me feel better.
Woe.
Is.
Me.
W is making me get up and go to Kohl's.
Doesn't he know that I might die from Kindergarten despair?
Or skin cancer?
And the boy has pooped through three outfits.
Even he feels the sting of a desperate world.
And the worst part?
She doesn't even care about my extreme melancholia.
Oh, the sufferin'.
Somebody get me a Bufferin.
It is all my own fault, too.
I raised her to be independent and adventurous.
I will not make that mistake with the boy.
He will take me to college with him.
Stupid kindergarten.
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
A Brief Interlude Where I Almost Die of Sorrow
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9 comments:
hugs.
I remember when Tiffany was teasing me about raising mamas boys and I was all, "THAT'S RIGHT THEY NEVER HAVE TO LEAVE AND CAN COME HOME ALWAYS."
I feel your pain. Counting days until holidays/vacation/summer... ;-)
Oh you poor thing. I'm sorry you're so sad. But, in spite of it, you're still funny. PHEW!
Does this make me a bad Mommy when I say, I didn't go through this despair in dropping my daughter off at preschool. Yes? Well ok then, I'm bad. Now I feel like a failure.
Pure poetry.
And I was very gratified to learn this weekend that my college boy does indeed, miss me.
I brainwash my kid into thinking he can't live without me.
Sometimes it's really beneficial, other times I wonder how it would feel to be alone again, so maybe I could poop in privacy. I have no doubt I'll be the one parked in the parking lot the entire time just waiting, breathing on the glass, being creepy.
Wait...Kohl's is the answer to despair? I didn't know that!! I thought it was Target.
Kindergarten is rough. I treated it like a funeral for nearly a week. I felt like someone kidnapped my child.
First grade is a little better.
sniffle.
Can I join you in the pool of sorrow? My lad went off to kindergarten this week, and he never looked back. The bus pulled up, and he elbowed his way to the front of the line. He didn't wave. He didn't blow me a kiss. Nothing! Nuh - thing!
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