What are your deal breakers? The things that, no excuses, would make you throw in the towel? Here are some of mine:
If my therapist takes a phone call in the middle of my intake for severe clinical depression and talks to his tennis partner for fifteen minutes, I leave.
If people tell me what I believe or who I hate, I leave (at least mentally, if I can't do it physically).
Staying awake for more than 20 hours. Can't do it. Not to win a million dollars, even. Complete deal breaker.
The Twilight series. Don't ask me to be involved. It will be a deal breaker.
Hearing about someone's "Mucus Plug." Deal breaker. Sorry. (Unless it is a sweet band you are in, called Mucus Plug. I can do that.)
Any situation involving the phrase "My Bad." I immediately want to punch you in the throat.
Asking me to take sides between my parents or other family (or Ecktons.) You are going to lose, and there will be no deal.
Spumoni ice cream (not only a deal breaker, but almost a table-thrower-over). I would leave a free dinner if I had to eat Spumoni.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Deal Breakers
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
19 comments:
People who only call when they want something. I stop answering and I make love to caller ID.
People who tell me that I shouldn't believe in something because someone who hates me agrees with me.
Anyone who endangers my child... will get a can of whoop a opened on them.
What's spumoni? and... wanna go see that twilight movie? heheheh hahahha
What about saying "Mi mal"?
I thought spumoni was a lunch meat.
I had to look up spumoni on wikipedia.
I understand the table throwing now.
Lying to or about me or betraying me.
Taking something I have said in love and kindness and a non-gossip way and then twisting it and spreading it as gossip.
Call waiting. Particularly those people w/ it who say, "Will you hold on just a sec" and then are gone for 10 minutes and then call you back and wonder why you held on for five but hung up finally after seven minutes.
And I only accept spumoni when it has a really wide band of pistachio.
Ridiculously made-up forwarded emails. If you send me one of those, never expect me to take you seriously. Deal-breaker.
The girl crazy (that special kind of passive-aggressive two-faced whackness that really only comes out in girls). Come on, no more drama in our lives. Deal-breaker.
oh how I second Fig on the emails...and to it I add religious emails saying "if you are a christian you will send this along" or "if you believe in Jesus you will send this to everyone in your address book". pretty sure Jesus will still love me when I hit the DELETE button.
tuna fish breath-deal breaker
snot and loogies-deal breaker
billy the infomercial guy who talks to loud-deal breaker
people who aren't respectful to my mother-deal breaker
talks TOO loud, ahem
*people who don't know the difference between "too" and "to", "their" and "they're"-deal breaker
Explainer syndrome! If someone explains really obvious stuff to me like I'm retarded, they're dead to me. This really happened in a conversation: "So I like fettucine--those are the big noodles--and..." DEAL BREAKER.
Mucus plug? Gross.
Also, "think outside the box." (shudder).
And perhaps this is a slight variation of deal breaker, but I get the creeps from "game changer."
Gurrbanzo, that is my new favorite story ever.
And spumoni is what evil would taste like, if it were ice cream. When we were kids, the "family restaurant" was The Old(e) Spaghetti Factory. And the ONLY dessert that they served was Spumoni. Even as a seven-year-old I would rather go hungry than eat it.
And Jesus and I have had some talks, because I NEVER forward those emails. Or ones where they say things like "Praying Soldiers!" or "Love it or Leave it!" Apparently I don't support the troops, either.
And my "on-hold" time for call waiting is about sixty seconds. I go out of my way to NOT answer call waiting because I hate to have it done to me. I would rather be called back.
Yeah-I agree (mostly. though, I love spumoni) FYI: Don't ever google image search "mucus plug." Yeah.
I have a dealbreaker with myself: It's inadvertently putting my foot in my mouth.
To the person w/ whom I spoke very recently who took an emergency call from her husband for like two seconds: Honestly I wasn't even thinking about you. I didn't even realize you'd put me on hold. I promise!
People who assume I'm stupid.
People who underestimate me.
OK, deal breakers. If you are forwarding an email that tells me I have to forward something eleventy-zillion times and I'll get a free phone/computer/car, etc. then that is a deal breaker.
If you are my boss and something messes up and you crucify me in front of your boss, that is a deal breaker (this has happened to me more than once).
My deal breakers:
* Cattiness/pettiness among friends. I have a 3 year old -- don't need any more drama.
* Women's clothing that has Winnie the Pooh characters on it.
I'm a lurker (and lover) of your blog. You are so funny! So are your commenters.
"I thought spumoni was lunch meat." hahahahaha...
Welcome, Emilyanne! I second your feeling about drama. I have left friendships because there was too much drama.
Emilyanne, I second your feeling about women's clothing with winnie-the-pooh on it. And I'm going to extend that to any "grown up" clothing with large, cartoony characters on it. If you want to get a t-shirt with a character, OK. If you want to get a polo with an understated character, OK. But if you're putting on a sweater with embroidered dwarves scampering up the side, you've gone too far. Seriously.
My silliest deal breaker .. is people who say "Proactive" ... I'm sorry, but if that comes out of your mouth my eyes will roll out of sheer reflex, and I will probably always hate you just a tiny bit.
That word just gets under my skin (it's my least favorite thing about watching Cops - and I like watching Cops - it's almost like it's part of the Academy curriculum or something). But I tend to dislike most of that sort of cattle-herding management-trainee speak anyway (like: thinking outside the box).
By the way, I totally ditto your spumoni feelings, and yet it's my mom's FAVORITE (I do like the pistachio .. I'd just rather have it alone). Bottom line, people are weird .. except for all of us, of course ;)
My latest saying has been punch you in the throat (did we both get that from The Jolly Porter or did he get it from you?)
Post a Comment