Well, I have come to the middle of an internal struggle:
Do I put a cute picture up and keep fake smiling, or do I let the truth be known?
Let's try the truth for a minute.
Things suck. They suck hard. They stink on ice (to borrow a phrase from my brother).
We are so tired of this deployment. We are exhausted. Jooj cries all of the time. She went into the corner at nursery and cried on her own. She told her teacher "I miss my Papi."
I am so lonely. There are days that go by where I don't talk to a single person besides Jooj. Sadly, there are multiple days that go by. I have never been much of a phone talker (except to Ames and ~J), but it would still be nice to hear from someone. (Especially someone who is not asking me to do another thing for the Church/Army/Whatever.)
I am trying to stay positive and remember that things will get better. But it feels like I am spinning myself a giant, chumpy yarn.
Boo.
Back to faking it:
I dozed off for about six minutes, and Jooj discovered some nail polish and did her own toes. Nothing on the carpet, nothing on her clothes, nothing anywhere but her feet. Pretty good, I think!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Sob Story
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
13 comments:
Boo. Suck. Tired. Exhausted. Lonely.
All very appropriate words.
Thinking of you.
Yay for Jooj! Why don't you come visit here? We have a pool, a beach, and you can experience all that I blog about first hand. And Jooj can paint my toes. Hang in there. You are loved.
What they said.
And I'm good with the real face.
Thoughts and prayers coming your way.
HUUUUGS from us to you.
I'm sorry that life is being sucky right now. :(
But I'm grateful that you still put up a cute picture. Even when you don't feel like fake smiling.
Cause those pink painted toenails are SO cute. Even cuter is the fact that the toes are pink and the carpet is not. Amazing. Tender mercies. ;)
i feel for you. i can't imagine... you have always impressed me being able to have "W" away...hang in there. good thing you have the jooj to make us all smile. who needs beauty school?! beautiful.
Thank you for being honest.
I wish we could all just come hang out and we could sit on the couch, pull up tmz and watch jooj be cute.
I'm so sorry (and grateful...although that's probably not what you want to hear).
I'd totally bring you some crushed ice and a caffeinated beverage and play bubbles with your kid if I lived closer (I know we've never "met", but there's a few out there that can vouch for me!).
I'm impressed with your jooj, none on the carpet?? None on the area surrounding her toe nails?? She's got skill!!!
You mean she didn't use the polish to paint her 'name' on the dishwasher? Huh.
I think I should start calling you more. You can ignore my call if you don't feel like talking, I don't mind.
Thank you for all of your kind words. It honestly makes a difference to know that you are my friends.
And Az, she didn't write her name because I haven't taught her the alphabet. (Let's be honest--DORA hasn't taught her the alphabet.)
If I were in EP longer than 10 minutes, I think we would have been great friends. In the mean time, I love reading your blog and can't imagine what your going through. Sorry.
I lurk here(because your wit brightens my day), but just so you know even strangers love you!
hang in there! and we'll pray for you, Jooj and W.
Yen... I wish I could put you and Jooj in my pocket and take care of you. It is HARD to do that stuff alone. I am so sorry.
I am also not a phone talker..so I get that too. Remember, for the next 4 months I have an empty studio apartment that you and Jooj can park in and enjoy SF... you are welcome ANY time. Cubby can babysit (can you IMAGINE the fun they would have? She might even teach him new tricks...).
You can eat yummy food, put the girl in the back yard (aka the fortress..even Cub hasn't yet escaped from it...). I will leave you alone when you need quiet time...etc. Think about it. Come take a vacation....
Hang in there. That seems so lame to say and like it isn't nearly enough, but hang in there. I hate deployment for you.
I don't know how I missed this...but I have a bit of deja vu - I feel like I've posted...but I'm crazy like that.
I'm so sorry - I'm keeping you in my prayers. You know how they have therapy for guys serving? Do you they have it for the wives/families at home? If not, they should at least do a beauty outing... on us, taxpayers at least...we pay for you going out to a spa. Something for you to relax... I know it's still piddly compared to all you have to deal with... but maybe Oprah's big give ought to do something like that.
Post a Comment