Apples and Bananas

A while back Shannon did an alphabet meme and tagged me.

I have mixed thoughts about things like this:
*What does "meme" mean and why? It sounds lame.
*I am so glad someone was thinking of me to tag me!
*Frickety, I hate doing these things.

So I am embarking. But because I am too lazy to copy the clues from the last one, and because I think that it will take me more than the minuscule space of free time I get when a two-year-old deconstructs a sandwich, I am doing it my way. And no one is getting tagged, even though I am thinking of you.

A is for: Amazing Race and Adoption.
I love me the Amazing Race. When they announced they were doing an All-Star edition I lost two drops of pee. Mirna and Schmirna! Kentucky! Beauty Queens! Sneaky old gay guys! It is like God has decided that Sabbath-day TV is must-see.

I was very interested to see a previous couple, Joyce and Uchenna, because I had seen her appear on "How Do I Look" with Finola Hughes, who I think is kicky. (Joyce needed a makeover because she wanted to get back into acting. **I am not going to use this space to comment on how she looks like a goldfish with ADD, and no one wants to see that on TV all day, because it is her dream.** Apparently her million dollars did not translate into being able to spend her own money on clothes and a hair cut; I recall her defending herself by saying that "after taxes and bills, a million dollars is just not a lot of money.")
Anyhoo, I was interested, because the impetus for their racing the first time had been to earn money for fertility treatments. Turns out, they were not all that fertile, and their NEW impetus for racing is to mend their relationship because their marriage is dicey due to the infertility.
And here is where I start to offend people that don't know me, and here is where I don't care:

Attention infertile people, especially those on AR All Stars:
1. If your marriage is so weak that you can't stand the heartbreak of infertility together, that you can't appreciate a million dollars together, that you can't overcome these trials as a couple, then your marriage is too weak for you to be bringing children into it. Kids do NOT make a marriage stronger or better. Sure, there are some new shared experiences that may further bond your couple-ness, ("Honey, I don't want to keep her when she is screaming like Grizzly Man." "Me neither, dear.") Yes, is may be YOUR dream to have a big family, but I guarantee that it is not your child's dream to be pressured to glue her parents back together. Suck it up, get some counseling, and figure out how to make things better before you get basted.

2. Um, why does your child have to come from your belly? Do you know how many children you can adopt with infertility money? Uchenna and Joyce--do you know how many African-American kids there are in the US fost-adopt system? They don't all have to be from China or Malawi or wherever is cool, right now. Having a family is about bringing love into your home. I understand that situations are different and everything. But if having a child is the most important thing in your life, it would make sense not to blame your eggs for your unhappiness. Suck it up.

I initially rooted for these two on their first race. Now I hope that they lose.

Which brings me to

B is for Boston Rob and Amber. Media Whores. And I love them for it. I think that they should be on EVERY season.