So, I have been a single mom for three weeks, now, and it has SUCK-to-the-ED. I have been so tired and drained and weary and weepy and lonely, and I have been thinking "why?" I mean, I have done the separation for millions of times longer than this, and had very little problem, so what is my deal now?
And then I saw the following things:
1. I went to the bathroom (2 minutes) and came out to see the remote control in pieces and the batteries in The Jooj's mouth. They now have VISIBLE teeth marks on them.
2. I went to the bathroom (1 minute) and came out to see The Jooj in the act of pushing away one dog (Rocky) from his dinner and eating it herself. (Rocky just looked at her like "Is nothing mine anymore *sigh*)
3. I went to the garage to grab the dustpan (30 seconds) and came out to see The Jooj, Rocky, and Porter all standing on the open dishwasher door licking the dirty pots and pans.
And the I realized that The Jooj is not a baby, but a miniature schnauzer. So my three weeks alone with her are like dog weeks and therefore count as 21 weeks. At almost 6 months I am allowed to be done and weepy and ready. That is much more respectable and Army-wife-able.
This issue being resolved, I am now going to put a bell around her neck and start smacking her with a newspaper, and wait for W to come home and take her to obedience school. (Also, I am going to buy some Depends since I clearly can no longer use the bathroom during business hours.)
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15 comments:
Jen...that post made me laugh because it is all true. My kids never wanted food more then when it was one the floor or directly out of the garbage can. Just today I have pulled Cubby out of the garbage 4 times, and found him chewing on a grape that is so old it scared me a little.
The last phase in the puppy analogy is when they start following you around, panting a begging for food every time they see you with a plate. The Jooj might be just a little bit young for this yet, but soon you will have your third puppy begging for food. It doesn't matter how much they have had to eat, they will still beg. Or at least mine do. I am gonna try the newspaper thing.
Last, your baby is HUGE!! She looks so grown up. Her hair is getting long and she just looks older. Sigh. Hang in there, the single mom thing is harder then it looks. :-)
cute baby. how in the world are you doing that alone? i would rather die than be a single parent for even 1 week! (jon's going to mexico city this march for 5 days, and i'm already nervous.) you deserve MAJOR kudos
That picture... is so funny - you can see she's plotting your demise. I swear they try to kill us the moment they leave the womb.
Depends... I have seriously given that some thought.
And... just today - she was chowing down on raisins out of my hand and found some soggy cheese it over by the recycling bin and what does she do... right into the gullet. What is the deal?
Here's how I deal, I don't. Go ahead, sweetie eat that four week old piece of bread. In fact, I DARE you. Go ahead, lick the carpet all the way along the baseboards, means I don't have to vacuum later.
And, when mommy's tired of you, she'll put up the gates and cordon you off to the general admission area while mommy hangs out in the VIP section.
There's something to be said for building up immunities. Owen used to lap up rain puddles like a dog and he's my healthiest one.
Hang in there.
My bro-in-law used to call my 2nd the human vacuum cleaner. She would have a huge dinner at her high chair and the second she's out, it's right under the table to scrounge for more scraps. She's also the one that I caught sucking on the remote batteries. Hmm. Look out for climbing on the kitchen table next.
You definitely deserve to be "done" and weepy. We all give you permission. Anytime as a single mom stinks.
Carina, yours is the approach that I use most often. Like today--she was only half-way through drinking her bottle at mutual, and the kids were all upset because she had milk on her mouth. I told them that I would clean it either when she was all done, or before she went to bed. One of the priests finally rummaged through the diaper bag and found a wipe and cleaned her face off himself. I was like "whatever." I can totally see her drinking El Paso acid rain puddles. Great.
Bek, Jooj may SEEM big, but please keep in mind that each of those dogs (to be used as a reference) are about the size of a dollar bill.
Ok, so she is still mini--but she is looking less like a baby and more like a toddler.
Speaking of mini children, we can betroth her and Cubby and then we could have the smallest grandchildren EVER. Our own little Polly Pockets!
She looks SO MUCH like Waldo. Your next one needs to be blonde and blue eyed, just to freak everyone out!
La Yen,
You-Waldo = More of your posts for us to read.
Some people are winning around here...
That was me cjane, just trying out a new name.
What now?
Kinda like you did with La Yen.
HOw about "youTarzanCJane"
And that is why we can be friends.
Your clever.
You're
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