Thinking About Ending it All.

I have been deliberating and conundrumating and ruminating and positing and depositing lately.

It seems, with a few notable exceptions, that there are three types of non-specific "Mommy" blogs* out there:

1. The blog that used to be fun and witty and quirky and is now either : a place where the writer shows us pictures of random things that are "artsy" or "organic" or "flowers" so that she can justify her expensive camera/newly found photo business; a treatise on how awesome she has become, thanks to this or that sponsor; a never-ending cycle of self-promotion i.e. Tweets about my post/Facebook about my post/What people are saying about my post/I got this award/Here is my badge for your blog/Wouldn't it be great if I wrote a book about my posts?!

2. The blog that has NEVER been fun and witty and quirky but has a loyal following of friends and "fans" and now people think it MUST be fun and witty and quirky and it STILL stinks on ice.

3. The blog that bosses me around and tries to get me to become organic/vegan/crafty/Green/irritating/pious/political/suicidal.

I don't want to be any of these blogs.

Of course I want ten thousand people to read my blog every day, and ten thousand comments every day telling me that I am the greatest thing ever. Of course I don't want to respond to any of these comments because I am really lazy and typing makes my fingers need ice cream. Of course I want someone to publish a book that I have written and put me on Oprah and give me a million dollars and things to give away and sponsors.

The problem? I don't have anything remotely interesting or of good enough report or praiseworthy to say. I don't have a catch or a theme or a hook. And I don't really want to have one, either. If I don't have a catch by now, the only one I will ever get will be one born of tragedy. ("My blog about having twelve arms from a Nuclear Meltdown. Get my badge!" or "My blog about being the Octomom of El Paso! I got a Cuddly Panda Award from this lady!" or "My funny blog about how I am on methadone! I should totally be sponsored by the Cupcake Factory of Cuteness!")

I don't want to be the aggrandizor or the director of outraged blog minions or the one who spends all day photographing my day instead of living it. And this isn't my journal. I have a journal. I am not self-centered enough to think that my journal is something of interest to anyone but me (and Jooj, one day, who will break into it and try to get some dirt on me so she is allowed to wear a bikini and French Kiss at a young age).

So there is my dilemma.
Do I keep posting about things that, really, are substandard, or do I stop altogether? I mean, I can keep telling you about the things Jooj says or does, but that won't last forever. She will read soon and get all pissed I am talking about her bowels and boobies.

P.S. I talked to Fig the other day, and she says life without a blog or Twitter or Facebook is very charming, and gives her more time for TV. And you know how I love TV.


*I am not including the blogs that are, genuinely, designed to just be a place where grandma and close friends can see the kids. I mean the ones where Mommies are actively trying to be creative, with all that entails.