It may surprise you to know that I am an avid follower of celebrity gossip. I mean, I am so classy and busy and perfect--how do I find the time to read Us Weekly, um, weekly? But I do. It is all about priorities, people. And how you spend your time.
The problem with celebrities (aside from the fact that most of them have absolutely no scandals, and so how I am supposed to be interested in them without scandals) is that many of them are so ridiculous. You know the ones I am talking about. The ones that weigh thirty pounds and don't actually have jobs. Or the ones who wear metal claw gloves. Or the ones with eight children. Those ones. The ridiculous ones. The ones who think that they are owed things by the cosmos.I see this attitude becoming more and more prevalent within society at large, especially among the youth (it IS Quincenera time here in the EP, you know) and it horrifies me. Because feeling entitled gets you nowhere.
I was contemplating this attitude early this morning when I couldn't sleep because Jooj's feet were in my throat, and it hit me that entitlement is a much larger problem than the foolishness of celebrities--it is absolutely deadly when we take this mindset within the gospel.
We have an acquaintance who is "struggling" with some life choices. The quotes are there, in my mind, because she is not struggling with what to choose, but with the way to best blame someone or something else for her laziness/refusal to commit/irritating-ness. Everyone is out to get her, from friends, to family, ecclesiastical leaders, to God. The reason she feels so victimized? She is owed, and no one is coughing up her prizes.
The thing she doesn't understand is that there are only a handful of things that we, as children of God in this mortal existence, are owed. Three things, actually, are all I can come up with and, from my vantage point, none of us are even remotely deserving of such awesomeness:
No matter what we do, we are guaranteed eternal life
We also get to use the Atonement
Finally, we get the unwavering love from our Father, no matter our situations or circumstances
That's it. That is all we are owed. Every single other thing we are promised in the scriptures or in the temple comes through hard work, faithfulness, and commitment on our part.
But this attitude of entitlement--it is a terrible blight on the spirit. To waste time being angry on what we deserve takes away from the blessings we would actually receive if we were better focused on serving others. Instead of fighting against a bishop who is following the teachings of the prophets, we can seek to gain knowledge and then qualify for the blessings and spiritual enlightenment that for which our souls so desperately cry out. Rather than being furious that we have no man/baby/money/job/etc. when we so obviously deserve them, we can concentrate on understanding the will of the Lord, and begin to understand that His time line is not something that we are going to alter through petulance.
/rant.
What do you think? Am I off base? What are YOU owed?
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
So Churchy. Beware.
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22 comments:
Hmm, are you talking about me? I seem to fit the description right on. I'm going to go be humbled right now.
That's what you get for initiating Holiday Baking Season before Halloween, Wife.
Also, you are exempt. Because you ARE owed. Look at the Hobbit you have to sleep next to.
de-lurking (but I've followed for a while- I'm Cyndi and Bek's sister)
Wow. This is good. I've never really thought about what we are "owed". The only thing I'd add is "Answers". You know- "if any of you lack wisdom..."
But I guess that takes effort to ask, and know how to "hear" the answer. I'd like to think that I'm entitled to full, clear (illustrated?) emails direct from God, though. 'Cause I'm special.
Spot on. You have no idea (or maybe you do) how much I deal with the idea of entitlement in RS. I definitely think it's one of Satan's strongest tools for pulling people away from the truth.
And I'm owed everything b/c I have to deal with everyone else who thinks they're entitled. Hah!
Welcome, Mak! Anyone who loves Cyndi and Bek is loved by me.
And I think Answers is a thought provoker--because there ARE hoops we have to jump through to get most answers, but sometimes it seems like people get those emails without being as hard-working and awesome as the rest of us.
And Cabesh I DO know. But thank heavens it is only from the vantage point of the 2nd counselor. I would totally move if I got your call.
I'm owed a couple mil but someone obviously forgot about that.
YOOO HOOO!!!
I am owed more posts on this blog. Churchy ones, even, 'cause you're way good at them.
(And honestly, I will go ahead and share that I often find myself feeling "entitled" to have pretty things. You know, just because I'm a woman and I like them I should get to have them. Good times.)
I am entitled to ice cream always in my freezer. Always.
I think you are spot on about what entitlements we have. You just missed the ice cream one.
There is no welfare office for blessings, right? Doesn't being "owed" something suggest that you have done something to receive something in turn. If you think of it in that sense, if you do what you are supposed to, God will then owe you blessings and compensation from the things you lose. It's the doing what you are supposed to do and taking what comes in the Lord's time that is so hard to master. Simply existing and waiting for your spiritual hand out isn't going to cut it. The Lord promises he is bound when we do as he says. There is and never has been an instance where something for nothing has been genuinely helpful.
That being said/ranted, does this "entitled friend" read your blog? :-)
Tough question. (I only wrote that to save an angel).
Actually, I see this in someone I love. It is easier for her to blame circumstances on what's happened to her rather than recognize the hand she has in it all. It's even harder not to judge her for it. Sigh.
I am hoping she eventually takes full responsibility.
Wow. Well said. I love you. I am trying to be more aware of this problem in myself bc I notice it around me like crazy.
I thought of this several months ago in a lesson on the Law of Consecration, and how easy/dangerous it is to get attached to things we think are "ours" bc we "earned" them, when NEWSFLASH everything, everything, everything, we may have is a gift from God bc of his wisdom and generosity, NOT our entitlement.
A speaker at the law school last year talked about how everything we have is something we are given so we can put it on the altar, e.g, my law degree isn't something I earned; it's an opportunity I was given that God expects me to pay back. In that sense, it's a good but scary reality check to stop thinking about what we ARE owed and start thinking about what we OWE...which is awesome and overwhelming and humbling because we owe a helluva lot.
Okay first off I'm not a hobbit. Hobbits are well under 5 ft tall, and well I may not be much taller than that I did at least achieve that milestone.
Second and more pertinent to the question at hand I think part of the problem with the entitlement thing is that we as people don't know how to ask for help. How often do we just assume that our friends/family should know what's going on in our lives without really making the effort to be engaged enough to tell them.
Case in point our front steps have been crumbling for awhile. I have absolutely no masonry skills but a friend of mine at Church does so I asked him for help. I explained the situation, bought the materials and he, I, and another friend (I invited because he knows less about this stuff than I do) patched the stairs tonight. This was something I couldn't do myself and I asked them humbly and politely me to help me out. When the time comes when they need something in return I will do it without thinking twice. People need to have substantive conversations about their lives with their friends and family and learn to reciprocate the good deeds they receive from others.
I love this post. The entitlement attitude is one that I detest. We owe everything to our Heavenly Father! Now, if I can teach the principle to Atticus, I will have succeeded as a parent.
WV: reform
I kid you not. Awesome.
I feel entitled to a Girl this time. I'm such a Diva. Actually, I really don't care.
But, I really loved this post. I am also "dealing" with a few very close to me that are walking that thin line. It's always someone elses fault too. Been there, done that. The church is true. Truer in El Paso.
Owed? Hmmmm...I hope I don't think I'm owed anything.
No, wait, I'm owed an anniversary present. Maybe I'll order it right now. Or find someone to blame.
Eloquently put. I've been thinking about differences between here and the US, and entitlement is a big one I've noticed(plenty wrong here like familial neglect, not being able to think outside the box, herd mentality...just so you don't think I'm saying Japan is some Utopia). I like the gospel perspective you gave. Definitely food for thought.
This is actually something I think about a lot. I guess we've all got a loved one who exhibits this kind of behavior; I do, and it drives me nuts. The thing I've been thinking about lately is how to ensure that I don't create this sense of entitlement in my own children. I think that it's something of a generational epidemic, perhaps created by the over-praising, over-rewarding culture we've had that fears allowing children to fail and learn. But while I know that in my brain, it's impossible to let my kids cry over stuff I can fix, you know? Ugh. I suppose my comment is less gospelly, but then there is no such thing as something purely temporal, right?
I feel entitled to have people bring me dinners. But then I remember that other people deserve dinners more than I do. And that I'm too chicken to ask for dinners. And then I feel overwhelming gratitude for those who do and have brought dinners. I don't know how I can pay them back.
i am owed nothing. but i do love my agency.
(although i'm siding with fig on needing more posts on this blog)
dear~j. when people bring you dinners they do not expect or want you to pay them back. they may even be paying you back for being their friend.
amen. i have a very hard time finding a job, and sometimes i feel like i am "owed" one because i want to work, i am qualified to work, and did i mention i WANT to?
but i think i am also supposed to learn patience, and be grateful for the part-time work i DO have, and to remember that i am lucky.
on another note, i hate that some of my students feel like they are "owed" an "A" simply because they want one. i had one student tell me that her 95% "A" wasn't good enough, she needed at least a "three digit percentage" (i.e 101%) because thats what she had in all her other classes, and if she didn't get that, she would "freak out."
um. okay.
I'm not convinced that the concept of "owing" is legitimate anywhere. I mean, God, to whom we're ridiculously and totally indebted, isn't counting costs. All he seems to want us to do is to choose joy and climb (with help) till we can see from His vantage point and operate in perfect power and freedom. The idea is so big I can't get my mind around it, and yet it's also small and easy.
Here's the part where my brain implodes.
Can I borrow part of this? The whole not having a man/baby/money/job is is exactly what I have been going through and finally am accepting God's will. Thank you for this post, more people need to read it and live by it!
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