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~List your five biggest worries. Now imagine how each could become a blessing in disguise.

You will note, that for much of this post, I keep a glib tone. That is because I am prone to paralyzing bouts of worry. So while I will be reasonably honest, I don't want to end up curled in a ball rocking back and forth, waiting for someone to put heavy weights on my back so that I can calm down. (Side note: That really works with me. To calm the shaking. I need you to make me one. Because W is tired of literally sitting on my back while I convulse. /side note)

Worry: I am not enough. Of anything. Enough of a wife, mother, daughter, person, anything. I am fundamentally lacking

Blessing: I have to let people help me somehow. This makes me sick to my stomach to think about. I know that, in theory, it is good to let people help me, though, so it must somehow be a blessing. Ew. Another blessing could be that once I have failed in a tremendous fashion, I have no one else to let down. This could provide a wonderful sense of relief, although it would be a pathetic consolation prize while I was living in my cardboard house next to the van down by the river.

It is not that I want to be everything to everyone, far from it (although I secretly dream of being IT for someone. That special person. I mean, W has Hero Squad, Jooj tolerates me until someone else comes along...) but I know that there are things I can do. Things that need to be done. And often it feels like I am the only one around who will do them. Which makes my burden heavy. And I often forget to share the load. And many times, like when W is gone for fifteen months, failure is not an option. And if I am not enough, what will happen? And if people can get by without me, then what will I do?

Worry: I go to jail for murdering someone. Irrational, I know, but I have watched enough TV to know that, eventually, everyone goes to jail for murdering someone. This is one of the reasons I had to stop watching "Snapped" on WE and "City Confidential" on A&E, although mostly I stopped watching because I had seen them all. Does anyone know if there are new episodes?

Blessing: Lifetime Original Movie: "Mother May I Sleep With La Yen."

Honestly, those are my two worries. Sometimes I stress out about things, but I have enough faith in God's plan for me to know that I will survive whatever. Except for failing in a tremendous fashion, or prison. I can't make it in prison. And I would hate to murder someone. Sometimes people ask me about being worried because W is in Hero Squad and could get blown up by an Arab. I really don't worry about it. Now, I don't watch bloody war movies and get my head all full of ideas, mind you, but I am not worried about the safety of my husband. If it is his time, it is his time. And $750k would provide a lot of comfort during my time of grief in Costa Rica. And boarding school for Jooj. Because those Costa Rican schools are not the greatest, I have heard.

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