My email address has my husband's first name in it. So spammers think I am a guy, I guess. Even though the first name is followed by the word "wife." This is what is in my bulk box today:
"Step up with the big boys and give her a big toy to play with"
"Hitler Youth Northern Jersey Buttons"
"Regards! I always wanted a bigger schlong"
"Take the Manster challenge. In a few months you'll notice results."
So, what I am learning is that being a man involves the following:
1. Obsession with a pulsating tumescence (I got that phrase from my grandmother's Harlequins. Don't you love it!?)
2. Nazi apparel (Dear Spammers: Mi Esposo es Cubano. No es Anglo. Los Aryans no lo quieren.)
So if you were looking to become a dude, these would be the things that you would need to master. I will let you know if there are any more qualifications. (Stew--is it more complex than this?)
Monday, September 24, 2007
What it must be like to be a dude
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8 comments:
Nunca sabia que el nombre W es tan sympatico con los Nazis. They're a fun lot. Learn something everyday!
What happens if I take the Manster challenge? Inquiring minds want to know!
I got one today who's subject line said. "your prayers have been answered".
and I thought, "wow, God sends email now?? The Holy Ghost must be on vacation"
Do you think if we were dudes we'd ever leave the house? Just curious...
Pulsating tumescence?
ROTFL, I love that!
Of course, I also get a serious giggle out of those tv commercials where they're trying to sell some sort of 'enhancement' for "THAT SPECIAL PART OF THE MALE ANATOMY" (Know what I mean? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge?) - always said, somewhat breathlessly, by a very surgically assisted pouty/bosomy woman.
Poor things .. and I thought women had it tough with media pressures and body image - oh wait, we do ;)
I pretty much ignore my spam on my e-mail, but over at wordpress I have to check it once and awhile for real comments from real people I know who get their feelings hurt when their comments don't show up on my blog. And I have to say that the kind of deviate behavior I see merely hinted at there leaves me compeletely speechless.
I need to get out more I guess.
(I also need to spell check my comments...that's deviant behavior, of course.)
That isn't spam, that is totally targeted, requested email. Every guy is interested in those things. If you're a girl, getting these emails, then you'll know exactly what to get your man for Christmas.
I wish there was a way to get rid of spam, like there is to get rid of telemarketers.
tee hee I hate those commercials on TV with the guy, and the cheesy announcer. I just realized that describes almost every Male Enhancement commercial ever, but the one I'm thinking of is all about a guy named Bob and how his day got a whole lot better.
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